Friday, October 22, 2010

TTAASS: Texas T Against All Sober Steering

The world is plagued with various organizations ending in A.D.D. or the acronym for Against Drunk Driving. From Mothers ADD to Students ADD. They are really bringing down a past time enjoyed by many since the beginning of automobile history.
How can you be against these double D's?
Since the invention of alcoholic beverages and their combination with transportation, intoxicated joyriding has been a tradition spanning cultures and centuries. From the ancient Egyptians who used to have Jew races up the Pyramids to the Japanese drunk on sake riding dragons and tidal waves, the world before the invention of the automobile prospered with drunken shennanigans as a cornerstone. Do you think the Vikings would've landed in Greenland without a few drunken swerves? What about the Pilgrims? They landed on a rock. How smashed would they have to be to hit a rock about 3 ft. across? We wouldn't have Thanksgiving! Where would college football rivalries be? When would they be played? I demand answers!!
Finally, when mankind sacked up and made metal our bitch, then drunk driving became an issue. Since we can go faster, jump higher, and hit poles at incredible speeds all of the sudden it's time for awareness. I don't need you to tell me how much I can and cannot drink before I decide to take my 2000 lb car out for a spin. That's stepping in my freedom pie, and I am a goddamn American!
Three slices of Freedom Pie.
There are the naysayers who will comment on how drunk driving kills thousands a year. Well you know what else kills thousands a year while the authorities just stand by and watch? Heart disease, and no one is setting up roadblocks for that. Let alone attempting to prevent it by banning our hearts from driving. To all you sheep who blindly follow these groups and show them support, remember that you are supporting the crushing and dirtying of our freedoms. It's time ADD's get called out for being over the legal limit.
CRADD: Child Rapists Against Drunk Driving
These guys are looking for your support.

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