Tuesday, January 15, 2013

New Material

We've been gone for so long, it feels like just yesterday I was strangling a hooker writing a post about AIDS or the handicapped. Yet, it was a mere two years ago or so, and yet we still maintain a monthly viewership of around 1,500 unique IP addresses.

That leads to questions, mostly by officers of the law, but also from us.

What would you like to see? Should we add more writers? Who shot JR?

Let us know, we promise not to do anything too rash.

Fuck Your Life,
Texas T

Monday, October 17, 2011


When we left about a year ago to pursue other ventures (unemployment, drug use, prostitution, murder for hire, and irritable bowel syndrome) Endless Loop had about 300 page views, which was great, yet uninspiring. It's amazing to see that we currently sit at 9,345 page views to date. That just shows how many people are willing to take the plunge across the line to see what exactly "thinking outside of the box" means.
So, continue reading and feel free to understand that while the hiatus will be over in the next few days, which means we've had a year of issues we take personally building up.
God Speed Fuck Yourselves,
Texas T

Tuesday, October 26, 2010


Not for long, we promise.... but we are peacing out for a bit as we do a much needed marketing and design overhall. We hope to piss you off real soon.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Why Send Grandpa to the Home?

by Texas T

Ah, the elderly, the easiest target in society. Health problems? Check. Good ol' days? Check. Slow? Check. Early to rise? Check. The first ones left to die in any movie/real life situation? Check.

"Hurry! Murder She Wrote is coming on soon."

The elderly have long been an almost dead weight on our society. Taking up space, wasting our time, and eating all the soft foods our growing babies need and deserve. What if there was a way to solve our problem with them? A way to make sure they don't waste precious things and won't squabble your potential inheritance on lotto tickets and lap dances. Well that would be an amazing solution. One that just might be crazy enough to work.

We should hunt them. As soon as these space occupying dust gatherers hit 70, it's off to the Reserve. I mean, why not? It would solve at least 40% of traffic jams, plus no more painful mourning. Just kill em and skin em. No harm, no foul, no more calls about how to fix the damn TV. Plus, make it a reality show, you could make millions. Send them all into a parking garage and have at it. I mean this is the most respectful way possible of course, they would get to choose the weapons you could use. Just imagine how many parking spaces at bingo there would be.

Just one bullet and the beach house is yours.

What about the corpses? Wouldn't they occupy the same space as the living bodies? Not if we ate them. Think, yes you may say cannibalism is brutish and perhaps a bit taboo, but think of the benefits. World hunger, solved in a matter of days. An entire new branch of cuisine to undertake. Plus, old people are somewhere close to 94% pudding, they'd be delicious. That sounds like a two birds and one stone solution to our problems. Until the world opens it's eyes and sees that this is a viable option, expect overcrowding and starving.

Plus this is just fucking revolting.

Tips From A Human Gourmet, Or A Gourmet Of Humans?

by Adam De Sade

Starvation. It usually plagues countries filled with minorities. Some say in 20 years time, our world will be full of minorities and thus, we will all be starving. But we can turn back the clocks of doom and wither away the growing population problem by simply expanding what is acceptable to put on our plates. That's right, I'm saying it: It's time we start eating people.

Cannibalism can be seen all across the animal kingdom
My cinematic ventures have taken me across the world and when I head East I end up eating some rather strange things. That was where I ate human flesh for the first time. Dee-lish. I might be pronouncing it wrong, but that was the poor lad's name from what I can remember. Mighty tasty. His family was proud I was going to take their son back home with me (little did they know my flight had toilets). Also, imagine how much more interesting we can make competitive eating if we include a cannibalism bracket!

This selfish prick helped himself to Dee's Nuts
With this article, I would like to offer some sage advice for the novice cannibal. You shouldn't start off with old people. Like fine wine and aged Gouda, the taste might come across as too bitter to the unrefined palate. Avoid buffet's or communal cannibal rituals; these events don't usually take all the necessary precautions in preparing human flesh. You don't wanna have to digest a butt when you yourself have the mud butt. Stick to baking man meat, boiling and broiling never works well.

C'mon McDonald's make my dream of the McFetus come true!
For those of you on a diet, try eating people from poor countries. Or, stick to the bones, (the marrow is fucking unbelievable and gives you the hardest boners). Also, don't limit yourself to meat from white people. Be adventurous! Try Indian food, it might taste bad, smell horrible, and destroy your bowels on the way out but it WORKS wonders spiritually. Scientists speculate it has something to do with their vegan lifestyles or swallowing another person's karma.