New Material

We've been gone for so long, it feels like just yesterday I was strangling a hooker writing a post about AIDS or the handicapped. Yet, it was a mere two years ago or so, and yet we still maintain a monthly viewership of around 1,500 unique IP addresses.

That leads to questions, mostly by officers of the law, but also from us.

What would you like to see? Should we add more writers? Who shot JR?

Let us know, we promise not to do anything too rash.



Fuck Your Life,
Texas T

AIDS? That Is Soo 90s.

by Texas T

You know what happens when people become HIV positive? They lose all of my sympathy, as well as 40% of their body weight.

You can get your sympathy from Hallmark, Mr. Hanks

Seriously, they've made every other disease look like a mild case of upset tummy.

8 out 9 elementary school children surveyed believed that was "unfair" and the other was still forced to go back to class.

Remember the glory days? Black Lung, Bubonic Plague, even Cholera. I mean fucking Cholera used to be the shit, with it's letter jacket and a new convertible from Dad. Driving around and spitting in the local watering hole, and yet it wasn't enough.The Plague was sent to Juvee. Black Lung knocked up Scurvy and they are living in a rough part of town, he ironically enough is a coal miner. Even the Cancer Cartel got broken down into groups, it's the modern equivalent of the division of the Eastern Bloc. Yet, there sits AIDS, never graduating and always there with the perfect one liner. What a front runner.

Yet, all the funding in the world that could be diverted to water slides, hookers, and blow seems to be siphoned over to some person attempting to rid the world of AIDS. I'd donate, but we all know they'll just spend it on water slides, hookers, and blow so my money stays put.

Who gets all this funding? Who wants to help AIDS graduate? Much like the nerd who sticks around the popular kids, and turns out to be the most conniving and fame hungry of them all. I believe this is commonly referred to as The Screech Effect:

What's that you say? Saved By The Bell? The show with that nerdy kid?

Fuck you Dustin Diamond, you are the AIDS of the 90s.