HIATUS UPDATE!

When we left about a year ago to pursue other ventures (unemployment, drug use, prostitution, murder for hire, and irritable bowel syndrome) Endless Loop had about 300 page views, which was great, yet uninspiring. It's amazing to see that we currently sit at 9,345 page views to date. That just shows how many people are willing to take the plunge across the line to see what exactly "thinking outside of the box" means.
So, continue reading and feel free to understand that while the hiatus will be over in the next few days, which means we've had a year of issues we take personally building up.
God Speed Fuck Yourselves,
Texas T

WE ARE ON HIATUS

Not for long, we promise.... but we are peacing out for a bit as we do a much needed marketing and design overhall. We hope to piss you off real soon.

Why Send Grandpa to the Home?

by Texas T


Ah, the elderly, the easiest target in society. Health problems? Check. Good ol' days? Check. Slow? Check. Early to rise? Check. The first ones left to die in any movie/real life situation? Check.

"Hurry! Murder She Wrote is coming on soon."

The elderly have long been an almost dead weight on our society. Taking up space, wasting our time, and eating all the soft foods our growing babies need and deserve. What if there was a way to solve our problem with them? A way to make sure they don't waste precious things and won't squabble your potential inheritance on lotto tickets and lap dances. Well that would be an amazing solution. One that just might be crazy enough to work.


We should hunt them. As soon as these space occupying dust gatherers hit 70, it's off to the Reserve. I mean, why not? It would solve at least 40% of traffic jams, plus no more painful mourning. Just kill em and skin em. No harm, no foul, no more calls about how to fix the damn TV. Plus, make it a reality show, you could make millions. Send them all into a parking garage and have at it. I mean this is the most respectful way possible of course, they would get to choose the weapons you could use. Just imagine how many parking spaces at bingo there would be.

Just one bullet and the beach house is yours.

What about the corpses? Wouldn't they occupy the same space as the living bodies? Not if we ate them. Think, yes you may say cannibalism is brutish and perhaps a bit taboo, but think of the benefits. World hunger, solved in a matter of days. An entire new branch of cuisine to undertake. Plus, old people are somewhere close to 94% pudding, they'd be delicious. That sounds like a two birds and one stone solution to our problems. Until the world opens it's eyes and sees that this is a viable option, expect overcrowding and starving.

Plus this is just fucking revolting.

Tips From A Human Gourmet, Or A Gourmet Of Humans?

by Adam De Sade


Starvation. It usually plagues countries filled with minorities. Some say in 20 years time, our world will be full of minorities and thus, we will all be starving. But we can turn back the clocks of doom and wither away the growing population problem by simply expanding what is acceptable to put on our plates. That's right, I'm saying it: It's time we start eating people.

Cannibalism can be seen all across the animal kingdom

My cinematic ventures have taken me across the world and when I head East I end up eating some rather strange things. That was where I ate human flesh for the first time. Dee-lish. I might be pronouncing it wrong, but that was the poor lad's name from what I can remember. Mighty tasty. His family was proud I was going to take their son back home with me (little did they know my flight had toilets). Also, imagine how much more interesting we can make competitive eating if we include a cannibalism bracket!

This selfish prick helped himself to Dee's Nuts

With this article, I would like to offer some sage advice for the novice cannibal. You shouldn't start off with old people. Like fine wine and aged Gouda, the taste might come across as too bitter to the unrefined palate. Avoid buffet's or communal cannibal rituals; these events don't usually take all the necessary precautions in preparing human flesh. You don't wanna have to digest a butt when you yourself have the mud butt. Stick to baking man meat, boiling and broiling never works well.

C'mon McDonald's make my dream of the McFetus come true!

For those of you on a diet, try eating people from poor countries. Or, stick to the bones, (the marrow is fucking unbelievable and gives you the hardest boners). Also, don't limit yourself to meat from white people. Be adventurous! Try Indian food, it might taste bad, smell horrible, and destroy your bowels on the way out but it WORKS wonders spiritually. Scientists speculate it has something to do with their vegan lifestyles or swallowing another person's karma.

TTAASS: Texas T Against All Sober Steering

The world is plagued with various organizations ending in A.D.D. or the acronym for Against Drunk Driving. From Mothers ADD to Students ADD. They are really bringing down a past time enjoyed by many since the beginning of automobile history.

How can you be against these double D's?

Since the invention of alcoholic beverages and their combination with transportation, intoxicated joyriding has been a tradition spanning cultures and centuries. From the ancient Egyptians who used to have Jew races up the Pyramids to the Japanese drunk on sake riding dragons and tidal waves, the world before the invention of the automobile prospered with drunken shennanigans as a cornerstone. Do you think the Vikings would've landed in Greenland without a few drunken swerves? What about the Pilgrims? They landed on a rock. How smashed would they have to be to hit a rock about 3 ft. across? We wouldn't have Thanksgiving! Where would college football rivalries be? When would they be played? I demand answers!!
Finally, when mankind sacked up and made metal our bitch, then drunk driving became an issue. Since we can go faster, jump higher, and hit poles at incredible speeds all of the sudden it's time for awareness. I don't need you to tell me how much I can and cannot drink before I decide to take my 2000 lb car out for a spin. That's stepping in my freedom pie, and I am a goddamn American!

Three slices of Freedom Pie.

There are the naysayers who will comment on how drunk driving kills thousands a year. Well you know what else kills thousands a year while the authorities just stand by and watch? Heart disease, and no one is setting up roadblocks for that. Let alone attempting to prevent it by banning our hearts from driving. To all you sheep who blindly follow these groups and show them support, remember that you are supporting the crushing and dirtying of our freedoms. It's time ADD's get called out for being over the legal limit.

CRADD: Child Rapists Against Drunk Driving

These guys are looking for your support.